


Between the Ice and the Abyss

by BlackCoffeeWhiteViolin



Series: Donuts not Oatmeal [3]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, kind of, no beta we die like ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27400471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackCoffeeWhiteViolin/pseuds/BlackCoffeeWhiteViolin
Summary: Prompt 5 (November 5th)- guiltFive is thrilled about the idea of time travel. He spends many hours studying so he can finally do it. Vanya, on the other hand, doesn’t want him too. She barely knows anything on the topic, but it seems dangerous. Vanya is afraid to tell Five how she really feels about all of this. Five is already beyond eager. Wouldn't discouraging him be wrong? But if she doesn’t say anything she might lose him forever.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Series: Donuts not Oatmeal [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995241
Kudos: 20
Collections: fiveya week (round 2)





	Between the Ice and the Abyss

Nov 9/10, 2002,  
Vanya was alone once again. That wasn’t unusual. She spent a majority of her day trapped within the same walls. Grace and Pogo were the only other people around. They occasionally helped her with academics. If she can’t save the world, she can at least be educated. Vanya finished her current homework. It was now time for her next subject. She was off to her room. Vanya stopped in her tracks and observed something. It was the family portrait, one that didn’t include her. None of them did. She took a moment to stare at it. While doing so she rolled up her sleeve revealing the umbrella symbol she drew. If only she had powers maybe things would be different. She would actually be able to go on missions and be included. Instead she was stuck here.

Vanya went into her room. It was now time for her favorite topic of study, music. Vanya pulled out her violin case from under her bed. She picked up the bow along with the violin. It was time to play some songs. Vanya put herself at ease as she started to play. She let the music guide the moment of her hands. She would repeat this process for the first song, then the next, then the one after. Vanya lost track of how long she has been playing. It was probably past the time she should’ve switched to her next topic of study. Though Vanya didn’t seem to care. She was already too invested in the present. She could easily play like this for the rest of the day. There was not a single soul to stop her. Unfortunately that wasn’t true. Before Vanya could start another piece. she heard footsteps down the hall.

Vanya didn’t even need to look. She already knew. They were back. “We did it, we saved the day once again. You know what that means?” It was Klaus, and Vanya could easily assume who he was talking to. “We did it? I’m pretty sure you just floated around while we did all of the work.” Ben crossed his arms and gave Klaus a sarcastic smile. “Don’t be like that, Ben. We are free now. Yay! Freedom! Let’s go, we don’t have any time to waste.” Ben let up after that. The two ran off to do whatever activity they wished with their limited time. Vanya assumed Allison would be with Luther, that’s how it was most times. Usually Diego would either be alone or with Ben and Klaus. What about Five? 

He rarely spent his time after missions with the rest of them. Five was less predictable in his routine. He did whatever he wanted that day. Which meant he could be about anywhere. Though what Vanya liked the most is when Five would listen to her. She would practice her violin some more; Five would just occupy himself with another task while he sat nearby. It wasn’t anything special, but those moments were something she truly wished would last longer. She never really understood why, but she always liked having Five around. Though he was often busy with missions and training, just like everyone else. Sometimes when Vanya was doing her daily activities, she would stop and think about him. She often wished Five could return as soon as possible. Then she could have someone besides Grace and Pogo to interact with and also listen to her music. 

It wasn’t anything against the two of them, but it was nice to have someone else to be with for a change. She was stuck with them most of the time anyways. Not only that, Five brought a touch of unpredictability to her mundane life. Usually the time she spent with Five was the highlight of her day. As for the others, Vanya wasn’t as close with them. She wanted to be. She liked every one of them and wished to form a deeper bond. Though it seemed they didn’t feel the same. She knew it wasn’t personal. They all probably found her boring. They already had each other. Who would want to spend time with boring Vanya anyways? She knew if she was in their shoes, she wouldn’t want to be with herself either. For some odd reason, this never stopped Five. 

At least one of them can tolerate her. She could even go as far to say she and Five were friends, and pretty close at that. Today Five didn’t come to her room and visit her. He hasn’t for the past few days. So, Vanya took it upon herself to pay him a visit. She casually walked through the hallway towards his room. On her way she passed Allison’s room. Of course the door was shut. Then she passed Klaus’ room. Unlike Allison’s room the door was wide open. Vanya glanced over and saw Klaus, Diego, and Ben. From what Vanya could tell Klaus was trying to do something stupid. Which was something that happened all of the time. Ben was trying to stop him, while Diego was encouraging him. They at least seemed content doing that. Finally, Vanya made it to Five’s room.

She quietly stood in front of the door. It was closed, but that didn’t stop her. She gently knocked on the door and stepped back for a response. “Who is it? And what do you want?” Five assertively asked from the other side. “Hi Five, it’s me, Vanya.” She shyly smiled from behind the door. That was all she needed to say. Vanya was expecting him just to tell her to enter. Instead, the door opened itself. She was greeted by a grinning Five. “Hello Vanya, do you wish to come in?” She simply nodded in response. Five opened his door all the way. He teleported right after he did that. Vanya slowly walked inside his room. She glanced around. Five’s walls were covered in equations.

This was definitely a norm. Everytime Vanya visited there would be writing in chalk over the walls. Each time the writing with different from before. Though that was because he had to start over. Reginald would scold Five for writing all over the walls, demanding he removed it at once. Five honestly didn’t care. He shrugged it off and kept doing it anyway. Since Five was too stubborn, Grace had to get rid of it herself. Of course that made him aggravated. So he had to start on a new, blank canvas. Vanya stood in the center of the room. She peered over at Five. He was standing on top of his desk. That was definitely not safe, but Vanya doubted he cared. He already was too invested in his current task.

Vanya took another look at the equations. It’s not that it was ineligible, she could clearly read the writing. It’s just that none of it made any sense to her. “Hey Five, what are these for?” She walked to the wall and examined the equations at a closer distance. Five teleported from the desk he was standing on to appear next to Vanya. She jolted back in surprise. Vanya wasn’t expecting him to do that. “It's for time travel.” Vanya tilted her head. “What?” This was all nonsense to her. Was something like that even possible? “What's the best way to explain this? I assume you have at least a general idea of how my powers work. You know, with my spatial jumps and all. But there’s more to it, I can also time travel.”

Vanya wasn’t really sure how to feel about all of this. Even if Five was confident, in the end, it was all truly speculation. “So you have control over both space and time?” That made sense, if he had control over one he probably had control over the other too. “In a way, yes. I can only manipulate where my physical being is when I make jumps. The same goes for time travel.” Vanya assumed he already had this planned out. If his equations were correct he would be okay. She knew Five was capable, but part of her wasn’t okay with this. It’s not that she didn’t believe in Five, of course she did. It’s just that she was afraid of something going wrong.

“When do you plan on doing this, Five?” Vanya glanced towards the ground. “Tomorrow, actually. I have everything figured out. It’s only a matter of putting my equations into practice.” That was sooner than she was thinking. Well, Vanya hasn’t really seen him as much lately. That’s probably why. He’s been putting a lot of effort into this. Now it will finally pay off. Five will get to time travel, just like he wanted. But Vanya doesn’t want that. She wanted him to stay. Vanya clearly didn’t understand this stuff. She doubted she ever will. It could be dangerous. What if something bad happens? Vanya wouldn’t know what she would do then. She liked talking to Five, and just being around him. He treated her differently than the others. It was like Five actually wanted to be around her. He wasn’t obligated to. It was purely his choice. She could easily say Five was her favorite person within the household. 

She would truly feel alone if he got severely hurt or died in the process. She wouldn’t have anyone to listen to her violin playing when Grace and Pogo were busy. The others didn’t include her. Vanya doubted she would have many others to talk to if Five left. She would feel isolated from the rest of the Academy. Things just wouldn’t be the same to say the least. She was clearly against this, but didn’t have the nerve to stop Five. Vanya was physically unable to speak out against this. He put so much dedication into his equations. She couldn’t stop him now. “How is this going to work? Will you do this with Dad? Does he already know?” Vanya assumed he didn’t know, but still asked the question anyway. “He is uninformed. I will ask for his permission tomorrow. Though I highly doubt the old man would agree. It doesn’t matter. I will do it anyways.” 

Of course, Five never listened to him to begin with. It has never stopped him before. What makes this any different? Vanya didn’t believe she was actually thinking this, but she for once agreed with her father. Five shouldn't do this, it was too risky. Still, she highly doubted Five would ever change his mind. It was unlike him to do that. Vanya had no choice but to give up. He was already far too invested. There was no use in swaying his decision. She decided that she wanted to stay with Five longer. She dropped the topic of time travel all together. Five decided to complain about their previous mission while he still wrote equations on the walls. Vanya really enjoyed when Five would mention them. She fully accepted that she would never truly understand what it’s like to be on one. This is the closest she will ever get. Plus, the stories are entertaining through Five’s narration. 

Eventually the day grew old. It was time for Vanya to part ways with Five. She bid him farewell before returning to her room. She wished today would last longer. Hopefully tomorrow will never arrive. Despite what Vanya wanted, It came anyway. The echo of Grace’s bell rang throughout the Academy. Everyone knew what that meant. It was lunchtime. The members of the Umbrella Academy swiftly walked down the stairs and headed straight to the dining room. A record was playing in the background. That happened at every sit down meal. They all stood behind their assigned seat. Soon Reginald himself walked into the dinning room. He walked over to his chair and pulled it out. Vanya stared at him with not a single expression on her face. In return, he ignored her. “Sit!” He sternly ordered. 

Everyone got in their seats at different times and in an un-orderly fashion. It was never talked about, they all collectively agreed that this was the worst time of the day. Though there were many worst times of the day according to the Umbrella Academy. At lunch there was no talking. That made it worse for about every single one of them. They barely had any time to interact to begin with. Weren’t meals supposed to be quality bonding time? Making it silent defeated the purpose. It would be easier to eat in the kitchen, or even in their rooms. As a result of this silence, everyone was bored out of their minds. So most of them found ways to entertain themselves. Klaus was Klaus, like always. Allison and Luther were giving each other those looks again. Diego was carving the table and chair with a knife. Ben wasn’t even trying to hide it, he was reading another novel. Like always, Vanya did nothing but eat, and Five…

Five stabbed the table. Everyone looked at him in response. Vanya already knew where this was going. “Number Five.” That was all Reginald said. “I have a question.” Five was clearly confident in what he was doing. “Knowledge is an admirable goal, but you know the rules. No talking during mealtimes. You are interrupting Herr Carlson.” That wasn’t going to stop Five. Reginald’s demands meant nothing to him. “I want to time travel.” He got straight to the point. Five was never the type to waste any time. “No.” Reginald quickly put that notion down. Five would have to do more than that to convince him. 

“But I’m ready. I’ve been practicing my spatial jumps. Just like you said.” At that very moment he quickly stood up from his seat and teleported to next Reginald. “See?” He tried to prove his point. Vanya was certain Reginald wouldn't change his mind. They were both too stubborn. It was like an unstoppable force against an immovable object. Everyone else lost interest. They went back to eating. “A spatial jump is trivial when compared to the unknowns of time travel. One is like sliding along the ice. The other is akin to descending blindly into the depths of the freezing water and reappearing as an acorn.” Five shifted his head to look away. A second later he looked back to Reginald. “I don’t get it..” he muttered. 

“Hence the reason you are not ready.” Reginald gave the you are not ready speech. Vanya immediately knew where this was going. Five was going to do it just to spite him. All Vanya could do was shake her head. Five quickly glanced over at her. He ignored her plea and went back to the topic at hand. “I’m not afraid.” Of course he wasn’t. “Fear isn’t the issue. The effects it might have on your body, even your mind, are far too unpredictable.” Reginald was intensely cutting food with a knife. He soon dropped the silverware “Now, I forbid you to talk about this anymore.” After saying that he went right back to eating. Vanya blankly stared at them. There wasn’t anything else she could give as a suggestion to Five. 

Five then bolted out of the dining room and proceeded to leave the academy. “Number Five! You haven’t been excused!” Reginald shouted, Vanya knew this was coming, but at the same time was still surprised. “Come back here!” He shouted while remaining in his seat. She already knew this would happen, but now that the moment came it didn’t feel real. She was left in a state of shock by what happened. He was really going to do it. Someone needed to stop Five. If left to his own devices, Vanya feared something beyond terrible would happen. Reginald wasn’t going to stop him. Then who would? Apparently it was her. She would be the one to save Five from himself. Without thinking Vanya got out of her seat and dashed out the dining hall. “Number Seven! Get back here!” Reginald ordered her. Vanya ignored him. She couldn’t listen. This was far more important. Vanya flung open the doors to the academy, then the gate. She quickly looked left and right to see if she could spot Five. Luckily she could. It wasn’t too late.

“Five! Five!” Vanya desperately shouted. She ran as fast as she could. She barely managed to catch up with Five. Upon getting close she grabbed his wrist with both of her hands. “Let go of me Vanya!” Five ordered, he tried shaking his wrist to make her let go. Vanya only held on tighter. “No… I can’t..” Vanya was heavily panting from catching up to him. Five still fought against her, but it wasn’t really fighting. Five just wanted her to let go of him. He could easily get her off. He's dealt with many hostile situations before. But this wasn’t hostile, it was nowhere near it. Also Five didn’t want to harm Vanya. He could teleport away too. It was strange, but it felt like a part of him was preventing him from doing that said task. It was like he wanted to but couldn’t. “I’ll say it again Vanya. Let go!” Five demanded her to. “No!” Vanya shouted. The two of them stood in almost silence. Vanya was still panting. “Of course you wouldn’t understand..” Five muttered. The two of them just stood still, neither of them giving up. 

Vanya thought about what to say. Lecturing Five would definitely not get through to him. She can’t mimic what Reginald said either and she definitely doesn’t want to force him back. Knowing Five, he would immediately sneak back out. “Do you know the tale of Icarus?” Vanya looked down at her hands, which she firmly held onto Five’s wrist. “What the hell are you getting at Vanya?” Five still faced where he was originally headed to, away from Vanya. “Answer my question..” She muttered, still looking down. “Of course I do.” He replied. “I’m afraid, Five. Afraid of you ending up like him..” Five finally turned around to face Vanya. 

“You are right, I don’t know anything about time travel. I’m not very smart or pretty either. I am just.. ordinary. It’s not like my opinion matters anyways. But, if you won’t listen to dad, at least listen to me.” Vanya held his wrist tighter. “Okay fine…” Five heaved a heavy sigh. “It’s just that this stuff could be dangerous. You think you know what you’re doing, I believe in you too. But what if you’re wrong…” Five looked down at his wrist, the one Vanya was holding onto. “I’m never wrong, Vanya.” He clearly stated. “What if you are? What would you do then?” Five stood in complete silence, not sure how to respond. “Five, I don’t want you ending up like Icarus. He was too confident in himself. He ignored any warning. In the end, he flew too close to the sun and fell into a dark, bottomless sea. The same could happen to you. Not literally. But something similar.”

Vanya kept talking, “I don’t want to lose you. You, the others, Mom, and Pogo are all I got. But you’re not like them. You don’t pity me. I know you truly care. And I truly care about you too. You are my best friend, Five. I don’t know what I would do if you left for good.” Vanya thought about the scenario, the anxiety only made her feel worse. Her eyes started to glisten. “Vanya, please stop.” Five started to feel bad. “No, I can’t. I won’t let go.” Vanya started to cry, even if it was only slight. She wasn’t even close to sobbing. She looked down as her few tears hit her hand. “I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if you left for good. I can’t imagine what it would be like if I never saw you again. I’d be so afraid that something horrible happened to you. I’d also be so sad too…I would feel lost and alone without you.”

Vanya couldn’t think of anything else to say. She just kind of let everything out. Judging by Five’s expression she unintentionally made him feel bad enough. Vanya was still shedding tears. She managed to finally look up from the ground. There stood Five. He definitely wasn’t as emotional as her, but was somewhat regretful. “Vanya, don’t cry. I won’t do it today if you are going to act like this.” Suddenly a chilling wind rushed by them. Five immediately felt it. The wind sent a slight shiver down his spine. Vanya was unaffected. She was now almost sobbing. “But I don’t want you to do it. Not now or ever. I don't want you to leave.” Vanya looked back down at her hands which still clung onto Five’s wrist. 

“Let’s just go back. We can discuss this later, Vanya.” Five didn’t want to see Vanya like this any longer. This was one of the few times he actually saw her cry. He honestly wouldn’t mind never seeing it again. If time traveling hurt her that much, he didn’t want to really do it anymore. It was also getting quite chilly. He knew it was November. Though it did feel warmer when he departed earlier. Plus, looking at the sky it was getting cloudy. “Okay…” Vanya calmed down. Vanya finally let go of his wrist. After letting go she immediately had the instinct to grab it again. She didn’t want to let go in the first place. Five started to head back. He took a few steps back towards the academy. Vanya still stood in place. “Vanya?” Five turned back towards her. 

Without prior notice Vanya ran up to him and gave him a hug. This surprised him, but he didn’t really mind. He wouldn’t say it, but he actually liked it. The hug was warm and comforting. Something Five rarely felt at all. He wasn’t one for emotions, let alone human contact. Vanya stopped crying. Though the wet marks on her cheeks still remained. She wore a soft smile as she held onto Five. He decided to embrace the hug too. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought, this was far more important. “I don’t want you to leave. I want us to stay together.” Vanya was at a loss of words. The only thing that mattered was that Five was here, with her. “I can’t make any promises, but I don’t plan on leaving you anytime soon.” Five comforted her. Vanya felt relieved. She still wore her soft smile as she closed her eyes. The two of them stood in place not wanting to let go from the hug. They both wished this moment could last longer. Though they knew they would have to return soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy day 5, hopefully everyone enjoyed this one too. Also an unimportant side note. This wasn’t the last time Five attempted to time travel. It isn’t really mentioned but he did attempt a few more times, but ultimately never went through with it. Of course he wouldn’t give up that easily.


End file.
